I use he/him/they/them pronouns!
I’ve never discussed my they/them pronouns on social media before, partly because there’s times where I honestly just want the concept of gender to go away altogether; it seems to cause more harm than good, at least in the circles I run in, but also partly because I still struggle to find the words for why I use they/them pronouns. It has to do with a desire to feel understood…and unresolved shame at the root of it. Often, I don’t want to explain because I don’t feel the need to. But here’s the scoop on International Pronouns Day: I identify as gender non-conforming. My they/them pronouns are an acknowledgment of the complexity of my humanity & a desire to not limit the expression of that complexity with outdated definitions of what it means to be a man or a woman. Every once in a while, someone will acknowledge me as they/them & in those moments, I feel as if all of me is welcome. At the same time, I feel completely unbothered being referred to as he/him so long as there is no accommodating expectation about how I should or shouldn’t express myself. I’m interested in uncovering & embracing the totality of who I am in this life. The deeper I go with that & the more awareness I bring to my sense of self, the more I notice that there’s room for all of the nuances & dichotomies of my human expression in a culture that doesn’t often encourage them. They/them pronouns create the space in which I can allow myself to be continually discovered.
Originally posted on Instagram on October 19, 2022.